Author Archives: Neil Frost

The sun was shining. Seven willing volunteers turned up ready to get to work. And best of all, although there was plenty of litter to pick up, the majority of it was in bins and bags, with much less (which doesn’t mean none!) strewn around the place.

So a big THANK YOU to the increasing number of guys who are choosing to dispose of their litter – and especially sexual debris – considerately. Thanks, too, to those who have said that they’ve enjoyed reading items on this website and appreciate what we are doing. Not all is good, though, and we agree with one poster on Squirt who posted:

“it disgusts me seeing shit covered condoms hanging off branches etc that ordinary people and their offspring can see. No excuse for it”

OWL wants horny cruising to continue uninterrupted and pissing off other legitimate users of the area by leaving offensive rubbish around doesn’t help our cause. Which is why we aim to clean the area up on a regular basis.

Initial briefing over we were soon off to work. Two groups, one heading to the Nude Sunbathing Area where we knew there had been plenty of use and where we found plenty of litter to collect. With all the litter being in one place, our permanent litter sack there having been filled to overflowing, the task was fairly straightforward.

Meanwhile our other team were working nearer to the car park; but with a somewhat different haul. Those of us who visit on other occasions had noticed that that chair had moved around the woods for a while, having been creatively used for some interesting activity. But by now it was probably past its best.

Lots of work being done and lots of litter being collected. So, time for a break and some refreshments. And, naturally, conversation about the removal of a swarm of bees last week (it’s here!)

Then back to more of the same but in different places. The holly bushes round the place we call The Gymn have been cut back so there is no longer any private action in that Hot Spot, but The Leisure Centre still gets a lot of healthy, horny, use. It’s a shame that the users there aren’t as careful with their litter as others are elsewhere.

Our lovely volunteers having strayed far and wide in the woods to collect litter, it was finally back to base and time for the stapling up of the sacks and the count of our total haul.

Thirty six sacks of general rubbish (including lots of used condoms, condom foils, lube sachets and wipes), seven sacks of aluminium cans (to be recycled into some artwork), a chair and a tyre.

Not a bad haul for a morning’s work. Well done to all.

We’ll be back next month on July 6th. Everyone is welcome to join us. We are an informal, friendly group. Not only do we provide all the necessary equipment, there’s also free refreshments and of course, whereas other car park users would be paying £4 to park in the car park, our volunteers get free parking.

Several of the OWLs take an interest in all aspects of the Forest and one had spotted something a bit unusual – a swarm of bees hanging from a branch in the middle of the track.

And this was a BIG swarm! (that whole mass is just bees!)

If they were honeybees they wouldn’t cause too much trouble. Unless someone walked right into them – which being in the middle of the track would be possible, especially if distracted by views elsewhere. Or if anyone decided to knock the hell out of it with a stick.

OWL is keen to ensure cruising can continue safely so action was needed. Only one thing for it – a message and pic to OWL’s Resident Apiarist for confirmation of whether or not it was a honey bee swarm; and suggestions of what to do with it (he can be relied upon to give a good answer to that question under any circumstances!).

It turns out that it was a honey bee swarm and it would be advantageous to remove it. Plans were made to undertake the task the following morning.

A quick check with our friendly Forest Keeper that it wouldn’t be against the byelaws to remove it and it was agreed that pragmatically getting on and removing it would be wise.

It’s not unusual to see men dressed in unusual gear walking round the Forest so a guy in a beekeeper’s suit wasn’t really out of place and received no attention at all.

Preparation over (remove lid of box) it was time to act. A quick snip of the branch

and the swarm was in the box. That’s in the region of 20,000 bees!

Lid on with a bit of a gap to allow those outside to get in with their mates (this surely has to be the largest intimate gathering that has ever occured in the woods at Snaresbrook!?).

Then a wait of maybe 20 minutes to allow those bees that had left the swarm to understand where their queen was and get back to her (maybe they took a while because there were other queens around in the woods and they were distracted!)

Finally, with most having gone back into the box (the stragglers would find their ways back to the colony they had first come from) time to seal them in ready for their ride to a better place – one of our apiarist’s hives which was waiting for them.

Apparently its a good time of year to gather a swarm from the wild. As the old adage says:

A swarm of bees in May is worth a load of hay;

A swarm of bees in June is worth a silver spoon;

A swarm of bees in July isn’t worth a fly.

Hmmm!

There are other things to do in the woods. And, like a bee sting, they also cause swelling! Good deed over it’s back to cruising! Bees aren’t the only things to produce sweet sticky stuff.

LATEST UPDATE!  The bees have settled in to their new home well and are already out foraging. 

Another record-breaking litterpick for the OWLs. Eight enthusiastic volunteers, with the opportunity to welcome two new guys.

As always there was plenty to do and after the initial briefing – including, unusually, a request to sort drinks cans into separate rubbish sacks – we were off. Most of us are old hands at this and the new hands soon got the hang of things and were working effectively. Along the paths and into the various ‘hot spots’ with many yielding plenty of swag for us to collect. Our ‘permanent’ bags are being well-used, as is the bin we’ve placed on the footpath. Sadly some guys don’t seem to understand how to use a rubbish sack and throw their sexual debris into the bushes; potentially that’s more difficult than dropping their rubbish into the conveniently-place rubbish sacks. Do they do the same at home?! OWL believes that, as a facility used by a range of people, there is no need to piss others off by leaving used condoms, condom foils, lube sachets and so on all over the place. The recent cutting back of vegetation to expose (and ruin) several of the ‘hot spots’ seems to suggest that at least one ‘vigilante’ has taken it upon themselves to try to stop the horny action that goes on in the bushes.

Eventually it was time to take the ‘first half’ sacks back to the car park and enjoy a bit of friendly banter and some Covid-compliant refreshments.

Then on for more. We’ve noticed that some of the action has moved (maybe because of the cutting-back of vegetation?) nearer to Woodford New Road. We were on a mission to clear that area up.

There was plenty to deal with and two groups attacked the large amounts of litter – in newly-discovered ‘hot spots’ – with enthusiasm and efficiency!

We think it’s a lot better for everyone when it looks more like this – with only dappled sunlight on the ground:

To save us lugging sacks back to the car park our friends, the Forest Wardens, had agreed that we could leave some of the sacks near the traffic lights for them to collect.

Then a stroll back to base, taking in some of the other areas, including the nude sunbathing area.

And finally the task of sealing the remaining sacks and placing them by the road.

The final total, including two extra sacks collected by a volunteer when the rest had left, was 34 sacks of general litter and 26 of recyclable materials. That’s an amazing 60 sacks of litter which we think is a record-breaker. Since our April litterpick two of our lovely volunteers had also undertaken their own solo litterpicks, collecting a further 11 sacks. Giving a Grand Total of 71 sacks of litter over the last month.

Ten sacks of cans went off to be used in the creation of a piece of art! We’ll be pleased to see it in due course!

Although we always feel good when we collect record amounts of litter it would be better still if we didn’t have to!

If you think you might like to help keep the cruising area in a state that minimises the likelihood of complaints, feel free to join us at one of our litterpicks. We are a friendly group. Many of us cruise the woods. We welcome anyone with a bit of time to spare on the first Tuesday of each month. We publish details of forthcoming litterpicks on Squirt; dates of the rest of our OWL litterpicks for 2021 can be found by clicking here.

 (Please note, we respect everyone’s right to anonymity and only show pics of those willing to have them posted. No inferences should be drawn from anyone’s participation in an OWL litterpicking session)